The alternative guide to creating a routine when you have ADHD
Does the very idea of a routine make the walls feel like they're closing in? Like someone's trying to cram your expansive, creative mind into a box that's three sizes too small, leaving no room to think or breathe?
If you're gasping for air just nodding at that, you’re in the right place. That feeling of suffocation is a classic sign of an ADHD brain fighting a neurotypical system*. (*Friendly reminder: I'm a coach, not a psychologist, and this isn't a diagnosis).
This isn't another guide that hands you a cookie-cutter floor plan. We're not boxing you in. Instead, think of me as your personal architect. We'll draw up a custom blueprint, one with movable walls and wide-open spaces, creating a life that's designed for you to thrive in, not just exist in.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my hundreds of hours of coaching ADHDers and neurodivergent adults, it’s that treating everything as an experiment brings the most successful results. There isn’t one magic solution that suddenly makes you a routine expert. Something that works brilliantly now might turn into a total shitshow in a few weeks or months.
That’s not failure. That’s growth, development, and learning.
Why does the word “routine” bring up so many feelings for you?
Many of us can feel a resistance to doing something that’s ‘required’ of us and almost rebel against it out of principle (“I’m not being told what to do”). It’s a perfectly normal human experience. Some ADHDers can feel this more deeply than others (often referred to as *demand avoidance*). It’s a lesser-known (and not very well-researched) experience that many neurodivergent people are familiar with. These avoidant thoughts and feelings can stop them in their tracks when requests are made. And yes, I might be talking from experience here, as my husband instinctively does this.
The demand can be as simple as someone reminding you to brush your teeth, to willing yourself to get up and make lunch. You can read more about demand avoidance on the Autism UK website.
If this is you – fear not as I have tools to help.
Another reason you may have a guttural reaction to routines is that you’ve just not found the tools that work for you (yet). You’ve tried to approach it in a *neurotypical* way. So your lived experiences are telling you that routines just don’t work for you, so what’s the point in trying? You might be thinking, “Oh my gawd, what's wrong with me? Why can't I stick to anything?"
It's about being adaptable and flexible based on your brain, your mood, and your energy levels on any given day.
What Does "Routine" Mean to You?
Your honest, gut reaction to the word "routine" has a direct link to what happens next. If it screams inflexibility and makes you want to run for the hills, let's reframe it.
What could we call it instead?
A rhythm?
A framework?
A flow?
Containers for your time?
Select a term that feels helpful and supportive, rather than restrictive. Using "containers of time" can be a great start, as it helps combat both procrastination (by giving you a defined start) and boredom (by giving you a defined end, so you can switch tasks).
Routine Alternative 1 - Time block your work: the "Sunday Roast" method
One of my clients told me she loves a Sunday roast but absolutely has to eat the "good stuff" first (the nutroast, the roasties, the vege gravy-soaked Yorkshire puds), and leaves her least favourite veg until the very end (peas, in case you were wondering).
This is a brilliant ADHD-friendly strategy. We used this exact approach to structure her week.
She front-loaded her week with the fun, rewarding, and "juicy" tasks that gave her energy. Then, she saved the boring, mundane admin stuff for later in the week when she'd already built momentum. This way, the "peas" of her job felt less daunting.
How to put this into practice
My client created themed "focus days." Concentrating on a specific type of work each day. For example:
Marketing on a Monday
Coaching calls on a Tuesday
Admin on a Wednesday
That might not be possible in your role, but you could still flex this into your week by having focus blocks instead of days.
Chunk your day into 2-3 hour "containers" dedicated to a specific type of task.
Is a 3-hour block too much? Lean on the Pomodoro Technique - work for a focused 25 minutes, then take a short, guilt-free break.
25 minutes feels impossible? Go smaller. I have a timer on my desk and sometimes set it for just five minutes to move the needle on something I've been avoiding. This can be enough to get you going – when it goes off, you get to decide whether to take a break or do another 5 minutes.
REMEMBER: It doesn’t need to be a massive chunk of time. You don't even have to finish the task. It’s about making a start and moving from procrastination into action.
That’s the only goal here. Set yourself up to succeed. Success is key to building up your alternative routine and helping your ADHD brain to realise, that actually, this is fun, interesting and rewarding!
Routine Alternative 2 - Sketch your best work day & your bare minimum work day
Having a plan for both your best and worst days is super powerful. It’s not about lowering your ambition; it’s about creating a sustainable framework for your energy that prevents burnout and manages your expectations.
How to put this into practice
The "Good Day" Sketch (Your High-Impact Day)
First, map out what your ideal, high-impact work day looks like. This is your template for when you're feeling sharp, rested, and ready to go. What could you get done on your “Good Day”?
This could include:
Tackling 2-3 hours of deep-focus project work.
Clearing your inbox of queries.
A creative brainstorming session.
Strategic planning or business development.
This “Good Day” acts as your guide when you have the capacity to make big leaps forward.
The "Bare Minimum" Sketch (Your "Get-Through-the-Day" Plan)
Next, create a plan for a "Bare Minimum" work day. This is for those low-energy or high-distraction days. This isn’t failing – this is a list of what "good enough" looks like to keep things moving without burning out.
This might include:
Attending one meeting and rescheduling whatever else you can
Answering only the highest priority *must be answered that day* emails
Moving one single, important task forward by a tiny step
Communicating to your team /manager/clients that you're having a "heads-down" day on essential tasks only
How to Create Them:
You can map both of these days using whichever planning method works best for you:
If you love working digitally: Use two separate, colour-coded calendars (e.g., green for 'High-Impact Day,' orange for 'Bare Minimum Day').
If you're more of a pen and paper person: Use different coloured sticky notes on a whiteboard. One of my clients uses a huge board to map their week, while another moves tasks from "To-Do" to "Done" across their wall.
Most importantly: This sketch is a guide, not a rulebook. Most days won't be "good days," and that is completely okay. The goal isn't to force every day to match this template. The goal is to have a flexible guide that you can adapt. Be kind and adjust your expectations based on the actual mood, focus, and energy you have available today.
Routine Alternative 3 - Embrace the coast (work is allowed to feel easy)
“Work hard, play hard”
“Hard work pays off”
“Nothing great ever came that easy”
Is it any wonder we feel anxious or lazy when things feel… breezy? We’re surrounded by a hustle culture that says we must work hard in order to be successful.
Easy = not working hard enough.
What does *hard* even mean? You can’t measure *hard*, so it’s pointless even trying. (Seriously, don’t!)
There’s a lot of unlearning to do, so when work does feel free and easy, you can recognise that it’s actually a good thing and doesn’t mean anything is wrong.
It's not just okay to have days where you coast through your work; it's a sign of a sustainable pace.
Work is allowed to feel easy sometimes.
How to put this into practice
A key way to achieve this is to treat rest as a strategic and non-negotiable part of your day. Some coaches liken it putting time aside for an emergency dental appointment - something you’d schedule in your calendar and never miss!
Instead of waiting until you're completely drained, schedule short, 5-10 minute "recovery slots" throughout the day (especially after a demanding task).
This isn't slacking off; it's proactive maintenance for your brain.
By resting before you hit a wall, you intentionally lower the pressure, prevent burnout, and create a calmer rhythm that helps you stay focused for longer.
Routine Alternative 4 – Habit stacking
Imagine your daily routines as a well-established railway line. Instead of laying down entirely new tracks for a new destination, what if you could simply attach a new carriage to a train that's already running? This is the core idea behind habit stacking, a behavioural science-backed method for introducing a new habit by pairing it with an existing one. The result is a domino effect for self-improvement, where one small action seamlessly triggers the next, making it almost effortless to build a chain of positive behaviours.
Research shows that stacked habits have up to 80% higher success rate!
Basically you’re outsourcing the "remembering" part to a routine that's already on autopilot. See I told you - bloody brill!
How to put it into practice
Before you can stack a habit, you need to make a list of habits you do automatically every day. “But Victoria I don’t have any habits”. Actually, you do.
You wake up.
You probably have a tea or coffee in the morning.
You have loo breaks.
You might have pets you have to feed (and fuss) every day.
Just a few to get started with, and these are called your “anchors”.
It's powerful because the old habit anchors you and acts as the trigger for the new one, so you don't have to rely on memory or willpower to get it done.
The formula is simple: After I [Current Automatic Habit], I will [New Habit].
To make this work, follow two golden rules:
Keep it Small: Both the current and new habit should take only a moment to complete.
Keep it Connected: The habits should occur in the same physical space to create a seamless transition.
For example, "After I water the plants, I’ll go to the gym" will likely fail. Instead, try: "After I put my work shoes away, I’ll put my trainers in sight." This small, connected action makes it effortless to continue.
A Personal Example:
Let's say you want to remember to take your vitamins every day, but you always forget.
Think about something you never forget to do in the morning. For many of us, that's making a coffee or tea.
The Stack: "After I press 'start' on the coffee machine, I will take my vitamins."
Key to Success: Keep the vitamins next to the coffee machine.
Why it works: You're not trying to create a new routine from scratch. You're simply inserting a tiny new action into the middle of your existing, non-negotiable coffee ritual. Keep the vitamins right next to the coffee machine to make it even easier.
A Work Example:
Let's say you want to end your workday feeling more organised and less chaotic, instead of just slamming your laptop shut and running downstairs to fuss the dogs and make dinner (just me?). Your existing habit and key anchor is the act of finishing your last task.
The Stack: "Immediately after I close my email for the final time, I will take two minutes to clear my desk and write my single top priority for tomorrow on a sticky note."
Why it works: This creates a clear "shutdown ritual." The habit of closing your laptop becomes the trigger for a mindful, two-minute reset. It helps you mentally check out of work and makes starting the next day infinitely easier because your first task is already decided.
So there you have it. Some of my not-so-secret tricks of the trade to alternative routines, for people with ADHD, or people like me who wince at the word “routine”. Some days will be better than others. But if you give some of these alternatives a go, you’ll start to have MORE productive days than before. And that’s the goal. 1% better every day.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, as they say. Go easy on yourself and let me know how you get on.
Want some accountability or fancy diving into my coaching toolbox to explore anything else that might be holding you back in work or life?
I provide one-to-one coaching through the Access to Work scheme, so if you’ve got funding in place for job coaching, book a discovery call today.
About
I'm Victoria Tretis, and I coach neurodivergent adults, often through access to work (including ADHD, ASD and Dyslexic) who feel stuck and overwhelmed in the chaos of daily life. They want to design and achieve their version of success. (I don't believe there is one right way to accomplish this.)
I also work with line managers who want to strengthen the support they provide within neurodiverse teams.
My work is not about rich people getting richer. Instead, sessions are centred around clients wanting to better understand themselves and those around them.
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