Saying "no" in business with ease and grace
When in doubt, society encourages us to say ‘yes’ and then figure the rest out later.
But what if that turns out to be The Worst Advice EVER in some circumstances... something I've found particularly true in a recent Instagram poll and also when having coaching conversations with business owners confessing to saying ‘yes’ to:
Prospective clients who want a reduction in price while keeping the full scope - here's what I think of that one
Working late and missing out on family time because of a last-minute deadline sprung on them
Non-ideal clients who want the moon on a stick for a fiver... oh, and throw in Siri-like responsiveness while you're at it
How can you say ‘yes’ to ^^THAT when you know it's just going to cause you a world of problems?
But if it really is as simple as saying ‘no, thanks’, why have 25% of the self-employed already said ‘yes’ to something work-related so far this year when really they wanted to say ‘no’?
The key to a good and happy life can be found in solving problems, not avoiding them.
Saying ‘no’ can feel like the hardest thing in the world, both professionally and personally.
Think of it this way: for everything you say ‘yes’ to, you then have to say ‘no’ to something else to avoid over-committing yourself. It’s a bit like the one-in-one-out rule of buying clothes to avoid clutter.
But I get it - we often feel pressurised to smile and accept. Maybe that’s because we’re people-pleasers at heart, we don’t want to let anyone down, or we worry what the other party might think of us. This can be a steady spiral towards over-thinking, rumination, over-servicing, stress, anxiety, and burnout.
Or we bury our heads in the sand and ignore the situation entirely. But this never quite shifts it off our mental plate. It’s still there.
From experience, neither option is great for anyone’s mental wellbeing.
So the key is in solving the problem before it arises, not avoiding problems altogether. And that starts by learning to say ‘no’ when you want to.
Unlocking your potential - by saying 'no' more often
You can say 'no' and still be a good person/business owner/human being. It's not about being rude or dismissive. It's about recognising your value and worth, and being confidently assertive. Keep reading for three assertive yet professional email templates you're free to adapt and use.
Btw - if you want to read more on this subject, Author Sarah Knight wrote a book with a subtitle of “How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want.” It's sweary, but Google it to find out more.
The next time you’re in a situation - consider:
What happens if you say ‘yes’?
What happens if you say ‘no’?
Do you want to do it? Or do you feel like you need/have to do it? There’s an energetic difference.
If you were to seek advice from the wisest person you know, what would they say?
Let this be your permission slip to start saying 'no' more often.
Three email templates to say "no" with ease and grace
Feel free to adapt them to your brand's tone of voice.
1. Saying NO to work that isn’t in scope or just doesn’t light you up
Thanks for thinking of me! In all honesty, that actually falls outside the scope of what I am really great at. My focus is always on XYZ. Please know that it’s super important to me to do my best work and therefore I’m going to have to thoughtfully (and respectfully) decline.
Then, if you do know someone who'd be perfect for the project, you could always make a recommendation.
2. Saying NO to same-day work you simply don’t want to/can't squeeze in
I can definitely help. BUT I need to be honest - I'm fully booked today and simply can't squeeze anything else in.
Based on experience, I estimate this will take approx X time in total.
You know I'll always offer as much flexibility as I can, so I can either:
A - prioritise this for my first available slot on [A date]. That means you'll have it back [Y date].
B - work on it out of hours which will be charged at x rate hour and get it back to you by [Z date].
ACTION: Which works best for you?
If I don't hear back from you by [time today], I'll go with A and pick this back up again on [A date].
3. Saying NO to the gazillion direct sales messages you get on LinkedIn
Thanks so much for your message. To be completely honest - I’m not interested. But I do wish you every success and look forward to reading more from you through your posts and comments.
Ready to explore coaching?
If you’re curious about what coaching could help you achieve, why not book a discovery chat with me to see if it’s right for you? No pressure, commitment or obligation. Just a conversation about where you are versus where you want to be and how we can bridge that gap.